Stuff that makes me laugh

[Evelond Formos]

http://www.innocentenglish.com

I get so many laughs from that site . . .

A funny newspaper headline:
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

[Evelond Formos]

In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.


On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)



On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)



On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)



On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)



On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)



On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)



On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)



On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)




On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."

(as opposed to what?)



On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)




On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts"
(talk about a news flash)



On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?)




On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[Evelond Formos]

I was going through the "tips" on Google Sketchup because I was bored, and came across this and fell out of my chair laughing:

[Evelond Formos]

I think this is possibly one of the funniest things in the world, pure genius, I say.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9644

[KoolestLoser]

I think this is possibly one of the funniest things in the world, pure genius, I say.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9644

Those were entertaining.

[Evelond Formos]

I don't know if this will make you laugh, you either have to be a geek or quite clever (or both) to find this humourous. And I did. I wonder which that says about me.

The link is here: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/01/Jun/pi.html

Or, if you'd rather read it here:

WARNING: Do NOT calculate Pi in binary. It is conjectured that this number is normal, meaning that it contains ALL finite bit strings.

If you compute it, you will be guilty of:


* Copyright infringement (of all books, all short stories, all
newspapers, all magazines, all web sites, all music, all movies,
and all software, including the complete Windows source code)
* Trademark infringement
* Possession of child pornography
* Espionage (unauthorized possession of top secret information)
* Possession of DVD-cracking software
* Possession of threats to the President
* Possession of everyone's SSN, everyone's credit card numbers,
everyone's PIN numbers, everyone's unlisted phone numbers, and
everyone's passwords
* Defaming Islam. Not technically illegal, but you'll have to go
into hiding along with Salman Rushdie.
* Defaming Scientology. Which IS illegal--just ask Keith Henson.



Also, your computer will contain all of the nastiest known computer viruses. In fact, all of the nastiest POSSIBLE computer viruses.
Some of the files on my PC are intensely personal, and I for one don't want you snooping through a copy of them.

You might get away with computing just a few digits, but why risk it? There's no telling how far into Pi you can go without finding the secret documents about the JFK assassination, a photograph of your neighbor's six year old daughter doing the nasty with the family dog, or a complete copy of the not-yet-released Pearl Harbor movie. So just don't do it.

The same warning applies to e, the square root of 2, Euler's constant, Phi, the cosine of any non-zero algebraic number, and the vast majority of all other real numbers.

There's a reason why these numbers are always computed and shown in decimal, after all.

[James Wellington]

i like End of Ze World.

[baby1111007]

Funny because it is soooooo true.



TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70’s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them…CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

[SnorriHT]

Funny because it is soooooo true.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70’s !!
...

So true. My seven year old daughter doesn't go outside unless she has her shoes, a hat, and a long-sleeved top. Molly-coddled

But as a loving parent, one chases after them with hats and shoes

[Evelond Formos]

THE WALDO ULTIMATUM

[Nathen Arnes]

THE WALDO ULTIMATUM

That has got to be the funniest thing ever. It's well done too. Heheh.

"And when he's found, it just pisses him off"

[superpoweredchimp]

[Vahene]

That's hysterical. Hehe..

K

[Greyshore]

That's genius.

[Nathen Arnes]

That's amazing!