People were always grumbling about the strict attitude the guards took towards the laws of the land. And usually Hard would just assume such people just had a quarterstaff lodged up their bums, but today? Well today, Hard was apt to agree with them. As he sprinted down the alley behind the Buck Inn he couldn’t help but wonder why the lawful types had suddenly gotten so strict on those prostitution laws. So Hard paid a few buxom wenches a couple of emperors to get his jollies off, was there anything wrong with that? And in all honesty there wasn’t, but, those he was hiring had started to have to bad fortune of turning up dead the next morning. With Hard being the only real connection between all of them the guards had been increasingly coming by to ask him questions. They had no real evidence (and how could they as Hard hadn’t done anything) but nevertheless they continued to come by with each new incident.
Of course now Hard was running for his life after the guards busted in the door to his room. After an acrobatic leap into the alley where he currently finds himself he really isn’t paying attention and has no clue where he is going, he is only running, very quickly. He ponders heading to the docks and figures it would be a good a place as any, more warehouses shady areas within which to hide from the prying eyes of the law. Hard has to reach the docks first, and that may prove difficult as he is currently running directly towards two guardsman with their swords drawn.
As he (finally) notices them, Hard panics just a bit.
“Focus man!” He thinks to himself.
He is closing on the guards fast, instinctively, he unsheathes his two maces and screams his war cry.
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT IM DOIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!!!” and smashes one mace into the chest of each guard. Their long swords barely miss Hard as they crumple from the impact. The hooligan stumbles for a moment then regains his footing and continues his race for the docks. The rest of the run to the gates is surprisingly uneventful. Getting through the gates will be another matter entirely…
Who Framed Hard Colt?
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broncoblitz
- Dasarian Hero
- Posts: 1126
- Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:55 am
- Location: A modern magician working in a Lab
Who Framed Hard Colt?
I'm always right. I'm also a jerk. It's not my fault you can't get over the latter to see the former.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
-
broncoblitz
- Dasarian Hero
- Posts: 1126
- Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:55 am
- Location: A modern magician working in a Lab
Hard slid into a dark alley across from the gates to the docks. Could he just stroll on through? Would the guards at the gate know who he was? Is he really thinking so highly of himself that he thinks the whole guard would know him by face?
Just as he is about to step from the shadows two guards hurriedly rush to the gate and begin wildly gesturing and making all sorts of a raucous. Hard was sure he would not be heading through those gates anytime soon. But how would he get to his randomly chosen hiding place? With the dexterity of a gymnast he begins to scale the brick and mortar of a chimney climbing towards the rooftops and a possible route to freedom.
When he reaches the roof he reluctantly looks out over to the gate only to realize that he was indeed very high up and falling from here would probably be a very bad idea. Thus he decides not to look towards the ground anymore; instead he looks towards a house close to the wall dividing the Trades and Commerce district from the docks. The distance between the building he was currently on and the one his gaze landed on was much further than it appeared from the ground. While it was far, it did not appear to be so great that Hard could not make the distance (although too be fair he was also quite drunk, it is more amazing how clearly he was thinking up until this point than his upcoming folly.)
So in spite of the fact that Hard would most likely fall to a horrid death, he took several steps back and then sprinted towards the edge of the roof, leaping at the absolute last moment. And by Tharon’s Knee he did look graceful in his jump (fall) and for a moment it looked as though he would make it. He lost momentum however and instead crashed through the second story window onto a bed. Not a soft bed but an occupied bed filled with a Lord and a lady who most definitely was not his wife. While Hard pondered the infidelity that others were able to partake in without being hunted by guards, his legs willed him to the other side of the house to an open window. The wall was not so far from there, and the blood curdling screams of a woman (whom he could only hope were of fear not pleasure) willed him to jump to the wall. His arms pulled him to the top and over. He had made it to the docks. But where the hell was he going now?
Just as he is about to step from the shadows two guards hurriedly rush to the gate and begin wildly gesturing and making all sorts of a raucous. Hard was sure he would not be heading through those gates anytime soon. But how would he get to his randomly chosen hiding place? With the dexterity of a gymnast he begins to scale the brick and mortar of a chimney climbing towards the rooftops and a possible route to freedom.
When he reaches the roof he reluctantly looks out over to the gate only to realize that he was indeed very high up and falling from here would probably be a very bad idea. Thus he decides not to look towards the ground anymore; instead he looks towards a house close to the wall dividing the Trades and Commerce district from the docks. The distance between the building he was currently on and the one his gaze landed on was much further than it appeared from the ground. While it was far, it did not appear to be so great that Hard could not make the distance (although too be fair he was also quite drunk, it is more amazing how clearly he was thinking up until this point than his upcoming folly.)
So in spite of the fact that Hard would most likely fall to a horrid death, he took several steps back and then sprinted towards the edge of the roof, leaping at the absolute last moment. And by Tharon’s Knee he did look graceful in his jump (fall) and for a moment it looked as though he would make it. He lost momentum however and instead crashed through the second story window onto a bed. Not a soft bed but an occupied bed filled with a Lord and a lady who most definitely was not his wife. While Hard pondered the infidelity that others were able to partake in without being hunted by guards, his legs willed him to the other side of the house to an open window. The wall was not so far from there, and the blood curdling screams of a woman (whom he could only hope were of fear not pleasure) willed him to jump to the wall. His arms pulled him to the top and over. He had made it to the docks. But where the hell was he going now?
I'm always right. I'm also a jerk. It's not my fault you can't get over the latter to see the former.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
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broncoblitz
- Dasarian Hero
- Posts: 1126
- Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:55 am
- Location: A modern magician working in a Lab
On the dock’s side of the wall, Hard gracefully landed on his face. As Hard regained his bearings he headed to the only place he knew would be safe, the Lazy Dragon Bordello. Rumor has it, the whore house got its name from an actual dragon that used to sleep next to a wizard, and it became a bit of the mascot of the establishment. People always take this as fiction, because wizards nowadays are not powerful enough to keep a dragon as a familiar. But I digress, the bordello would be safe because it was a popular hangout for off duty guards, and the last thing on their minds within its walls was the law (except if they saw Misty, she had a very strict set of rules that no one dared breach). As Hard slipped in the back door, he ran into many familiar faces.
“Hey sugar! Care to visit my play pen?”
“Oh I’d love to but you’re one of my favorites and I’d rather not see you end up dead.” Hard said dismissively as he walked by.
“Barkeep I need a beer! …. Make that five!” Hard slapped down some crowns and began chugging the beers as if he would never drink a beer again (all they served in jail was a rather nasty ale if you were lucky).
“Alright so who the hell would want to frame me for killing all those lovely ladies? I mean I haven’t harmed anyone, and I love the ladies…” Hard wondered aloud. Several whores began to gather around him as he drank and mused.
“Oh honey, why would anyone want to do something to you?”
“Yeah your such a sweetheart!”
“You’re my best customer, I’d hate to lose you.”
“Hey can it, ye ain’t getting any of my gold tonight. I’m not in the mood for the exquisite pleasures you all provide.” Hard grumbled. “Hey wait a minute, have any of you fine ladies noticed anyone new hanging around here? Maybe watching me or some such? At this point I could use any help y’all can provide.”
“Oh sweet buns the only new person round here was the new girl.”
“What new girl?”
“Oh you haven’t met her? Her name’s Nicky.”
“Nicky?!? There’s seven Nicky’s working here already!”
“Oh yeah but she’s the new one, cute little thing. Working a guy over at pier 3 right now I think, so she should be back soon, you know how those fellows are.”
Hard was out the door before the sentence was finished, he didn’t have time to waste waiting for this new Nicky to return. He was on his way to Pier 3.
“Hey sugar! Care to visit my play pen?”
“Oh I’d love to but you’re one of my favorites and I’d rather not see you end up dead.” Hard said dismissively as he walked by.
“Barkeep I need a beer! …. Make that five!” Hard slapped down some crowns and began chugging the beers as if he would never drink a beer again (all they served in jail was a rather nasty ale if you were lucky).
“Alright so who the hell would want to frame me for killing all those lovely ladies? I mean I haven’t harmed anyone, and I love the ladies…” Hard wondered aloud. Several whores began to gather around him as he drank and mused.
“Oh honey, why would anyone want to do something to you?”
“Yeah your such a sweetheart!”
“You’re my best customer, I’d hate to lose you.”
“Hey can it, ye ain’t getting any of my gold tonight. I’m not in the mood for the exquisite pleasures you all provide.” Hard grumbled. “Hey wait a minute, have any of you fine ladies noticed anyone new hanging around here? Maybe watching me or some such? At this point I could use any help y’all can provide.”
“Oh sweet buns the only new person round here was the new girl.”
“What new girl?”
“Oh you haven’t met her? Her name’s Nicky.”
“Nicky?!? There’s seven Nicky’s working here already!”
“Oh yeah but she’s the new one, cute little thing. Working a guy over at pier 3 right now I think, so she should be back soon, you know how those fellows are.”
Hard was out the door before the sentence was finished, he didn’t have time to waste waiting for this new Nicky to return. He was on his way to Pier 3.
I'm always right. I'm also a jerk. It's not my fault you can't get over the latter to see the former.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
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SnorriHT
- Dasarian Hero
- Posts: 787
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:22 am
- Location: Taswegia, in the land of Oz
broncoblitz wrote: ...
“Oh sweet buns the only new person round here was the new girl.”
“What new girl?”
“Oh you haven’t met her? Her name’s Nicky.”
“Nicky?!? There’s seven Nicky’s working here already!”
...
I laughed at that. Bronco, are you speaking from experience? 
Latishe Vaine - Priestess of Brintha, and Daughter of the Earthmother
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broncoblitz
- Dasarian Hero
- Posts: 1126
- Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:55 am
- Location: A modern magician working in a Lab
“Are you want defile me?”
“Sure honey, I’ll do whatever ya want so long as ya got the gold.”
The man outside was Hard, and he was listening intently. Satisfied that the woman in the warehouse was the new Nicky, he decided to come in the front door. It seemed safe enough, so he just walked on in. Inside a dwarf obviously out of his mind was tossing gold at Nicky and screaming about her defiling him.
“Hey you Nicky?”
“I told ya I’ll defile you dwarf… stop throwing the gold at me though…. And who the hell are you? The dwarf didn’t pay me enough for two of you!”
“I’m Hard.”
“Oh well ain’t that just a dandy. Of course you are! I mean look at me! I would be too.”
“I’m here to talk to you.”
“Talk?!? …. Dammit dwarf stop throwing that gold at me, or I swear to Teshalia I’ll make it so you can’t defile anything again! You know what the hell’s with you dwarf I’m going with this hard fellow.”
“I have gold.”
“Aww screw it, think of this as a freebie for getting me away from this dwarf.”
“Deal.” As the two started to leave the warehouse the shadows appeared to shiver. They were not alone. Not they knew it, heck, I’m the narrator and I barely noticed it.
“Alright Nicky, here’s the deal I need to know why you started working the bordello.”
“Why? Oh you know the typical reasons, daddy didn’t love me. My first boyfriend loved me too much, I got hooked on the scarweed. I mean seriously, what a bloody stupid question. Ask me another one like that and I’m heading back to defile the dwarf.”
“Ok ok fine. It’s just that ever since you started working it round here all the ladies whose company I enjoy have been winding up dead.”
“Yeah well if I had to work you I’d probably kill myself too.”
“They didn’t kill themselves, someone else did. Someone’s framing me.”
“Oh well don’t you think so highly of yourself. Mister Oh-Look-At-Me-I’m-So-Important-People-Want-To-Frame-Me-For-Crimes.”
“Well I just think your in on it.”
“Why would I care if your in jail?”
“I didn’t say you did, but someone could be paying you a lot of money to help.”
“Sorry honey but…” Shadows enveloped the two and what probably was a big wooden club smacked into the back of Hard’s head. If everything wasn’t dark already it would have been then.
“Sure honey, I’ll do whatever ya want so long as ya got the gold.”
The man outside was Hard, and he was listening intently. Satisfied that the woman in the warehouse was the new Nicky, he decided to come in the front door. It seemed safe enough, so he just walked on in. Inside a dwarf obviously out of his mind was tossing gold at Nicky and screaming about her defiling him.
“Hey you Nicky?”
“I told ya I’ll defile you dwarf… stop throwing the gold at me though…. And who the hell are you? The dwarf didn’t pay me enough for two of you!”
“I’m Hard.”
“Oh well ain’t that just a dandy. Of course you are! I mean look at me! I would be too.”
“I’m here to talk to you.”
“Talk?!? …. Dammit dwarf stop throwing that gold at me, or I swear to Teshalia I’ll make it so you can’t defile anything again! You know what the hell’s with you dwarf I’m going with this hard fellow.”
“I have gold.”
“Aww screw it, think of this as a freebie for getting me away from this dwarf.”
“Deal.” As the two started to leave the warehouse the shadows appeared to shiver. They were not alone. Not they knew it, heck, I’m the narrator and I barely noticed it.
“Alright Nicky, here’s the deal I need to know why you started working the bordello.”
“Why? Oh you know the typical reasons, daddy didn’t love me. My first boyfriend loved me too much, I got hooked on the scarweed. I mean seriously, what a bloody stupid question. Ask me another one like that and I’m heading back to defile the dwarf.”
“Ok ok fine. It’s just that ever since you started working it round here all the ladies whose company I enjoy have been winding up dead.”
“Yeah well if I had to work you I’d probably kill myself too.”
“They didn’t kill themselves, someone else did. Someone’s framing me.”
“Oh well don’t you think so highly of yourself. Mister Oh-Look-At-Me-I’m-So-Important-People-Want-To-Frame-Me-For-Crimes.”
“Well I just think your in on it.”
“Why would I care if your in jail?”
“I didn’t say you did, but someone could be paying you a lot of money to help.”
“Sorry honey but…” Shadows enveloped the two and what probably was a big wooden club smacked into the back of Hard’s head. If everything wasn’t dark already it would have been then.
I'm always right. I'm also a jerk. It's not my fault you can't get over the latter to see the former.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
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IronWaffle
- FINALLY GOT A CHAR TO LEVEL 11!
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 9:33 pm
- Main Player Character: Loramir Kross
- Other PCs: Lorick Kennard
Buippi Brew - Bioware Username: IronWaffle
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broncoblitz
- Dasarian Hero
- Posts: 1126
- Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:55 am
- Location: A modern magician working in a Lab
Everything began to come back into focus.
“Hey he’s waking up!”
Thwack! Well so much for focus….
Again Hard came to, this time making sure not to look like he actually was awake.
“So what’s boss want us to do with him? Just keeping whacking him each time he wake up?”
“How the hell should I know! You know how the boss is very secretive. I bet he has something planned for him though.”
“Something devious?”
“More devious than setting him up for murder? If so then he’s outdone himself.”
Some time passed in the darkness.
“Well boys seems you snagged him up just like I asked you too, good thing too since he was getting onto us.”
“Yeah of course he’s been out cold the whole time too, he ain’t heard or seen nothing.”
“Good, good, the last thing we need is for him to see who we really are, then we’d be found out for sure.”
Hard quickly snapped open his eyes.
“Well well, if it isn’t ole… wait, who the hell are you?”
“Dammit you idiots you said he was unconscious. Now he’ll find out the secret.”
“I’m looking at you right now and I have no clue who you are, so I think your secret’s safe.”
“Well then, aren’t you curious as to why we’re framing you?”
“Not really.”
“You’re not even curious to know that I’m not the one who put the order out, to set this all in motion?”
“Not really.”
“Then why the hell were you looking for us?”
“Because I wanted to tell you. You’re already dead…”
The silence was deafening.
“Hey he’s waking up!”
Thwack! Well so much for focus….
Again Hard came to, this time making sure not to look like he actually was awake.
“So what’s boss want us to do with him? Just keeping whacking him each time he wake up?”
“How the hell should I know! You know how the boss is very secretive. I bet he has something planned for him though.”
“Something devious?”
“More devious than setting him up for murder? If so then he’s outdone himself.”
Some time passed in the darkness.
“Well boys seems you snagged him up just like I asked you too, good thing too since he was getting onto us.”
“Yeah of course he’s been out cold the whole time too, he ain’t heard or seen nothing.”
“Good, good, the last thing we need is for him to see who we really are, then we’d be found out for sure.”
Hard quickly snapped open his eyes.
“Well well, if it isn’t ole… wait, who the hell are you?”
“Dammit you idiots you said he was unconscious. Now he’ll find out the secret.”
“I’m looking at you right now and I have no clue who you are, so I think your secret’s safe.”
“Well then, aren’t you curious as to why we’re framing you?”
“Not really.”
“You’re not even curious to know that I’m not the one who put the order out, to set this all in motion?”
“Not really.”
“Then why the hell were you looking for us?”
“Because I wanted to tell you. You’re already dead…”
The silence was deafening.
I'm always right. I'm also a jerk. It's not my fault you can't get over the latter to see the former.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
-
broncoblitz
- Dasarian Hero
- Posts: 1126
- Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:55 am
- Location: A modern magician working in a Lab
“What so you’re going to spring up out of that chair and murder us?”
“No, I killed you last night when you ate.”
“Oh really now? Well, what did I eat then that you so skillfully poisoned?”
“Chicken.”
“Shows how much you know then. I didn’t have chicken.”
“It was in your stew.”
“The stew was beef.” He said looking slightly more nervous.
Hard smiled. “It’s a wonder what these poisons and magicks are able to achieve these days isn’t it?”
The man stared Hard in the eyes, sweat began accumulate on his forehead. He was nervous, and his henchmen could feel it.
“I figure you have about ten minutes now before the poison stops your heart. I’d hustle to the nearest priest if I were you, because at the least he’ll be able to spirit you quickly to Culnul’s realm.”
The man looking quite flustered marched towards the exit, shouting a final order as the door swung open. “Kill him!”
His henchmen smiled and drew their swords…
“No, I killed you last night when you ate.”
“Oh really now? Well, what did I eat then that you so skillfully poisoned?”
“Chicken.”
“Shows how much you know then. I didn’t have chicken.”
“It was in your stew.”
“The stew was beef.” He said looking slightly more nervous.
Hard smiled. “It’s a wonder what these poisons and magicks are able to achieve these days isn’t it?”
The man stared Hard in the eyes, sweat began accumulate on his forehead. He was nervous, and his henchmen could feel it.
“I figure you have about ten minutes now before the poison stops your heart. I’d hustle to the nearest priest if I were you, because at the least he’ll be able to spirit you quickly to Culnul’s realm.”
The man looking quite flustered marched towards the exit, shouting a final order as the door swung open. “Kill him!”
His henchmen smiled and drew their swords…
I'm always right. I'm also a jerk. It's not my fault you can't get over the latter to see the former.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.
Hurray for Me!
Topic titles are like turn signals. They aren't for your benefit, but for the people around you.